Into the channels: 06/12/2014

NK Domžale 0 - 1 NK Celje

I can see a football pitch from my bedroom window that is five times as playable as that onto which Domžale welcomed Celje in this top-of-the-table clash from Slovenia.

It was wet

This is 32 year old Domžale coach Luka Elsner, and not Michael Laudrup

 Although they joined in with the communal mudbath this afternoon, the players of Celje are more used to the facilities at the Arena Petrol, which has hosted both them and the Slovenian international team for 10 years. It has a capacity of 13,006, more than 10,000 more than that of Domžale's Sports Park, and about the same as that of traditional Slovenian kingpins Maribor, who are 6 points behind Domžale with a game in hand, and 1 above Celje.

Early exchanges saw a couple of pot-shot-and-divot combinations draw diving saves from the goalkeepers, but this frenetic pace abated over the course of the half.

Benjamin Morel hit the post for Domžale in the 17th minute, as the league leaders came into the game at last. Veljko Simić (on loan from Basel) and Žan Majer roamed behind loan striker, Croat Slobodan Vuk, and the majority of the first half was played just inside the Celje half.

Majer puts Simić in

Vuk wins possession, and hits the bar

Ten minutes after Morel struck wood, Vuk repeated the feat, this time hitting the crossbar after pressuring the Celje left-back into giving up possession. Pressure from the Brigands was incessant, and working in tandem with the conditions, it prevented Celje from getting a foothold in the game.

Despite Domžale's pressure, the half petered out, ending goalless after 2 minutes of stoppage time, whih was odd considering the delays in play there had been after aerial collisions.

Ah, the Slovenian state television selfie

I thought the Pope supported San Lorenzo

Celje waited until a couple of minutes after the second half had begun to make their first substitution, which is a curious tactic.

A Morel blast into the car park (which appeared to be part of the athletics track running around the pitch) and a Simić fall in the area informed Celje's by now burgeoning subtitute contingent that the home side were still intent on winning.

Car/sports park

Morel and Darko Zec tried to reassert their dominance in the centre of midfield, whilst Celje's Benjamin Verbič was determined to attempt to run with the ball down the left hand side. Both efforts were hampered by the bog. Verbič and Domžale defender Erik Janža were the only players in either squad to have been called up for the recent internationals against England and Colombia.

After taking off Vuk, Domžale seemed to lose some of their aggression going forward. The final 10 minutes saw Verbič and Croatian loanee Mislav Oršić take the game to Domžale, finally managing to find space along the flanks. On 83 minutes, Verbič gave his side the lead, diving in to convert a ball across the face of goal that should have been cleared. Had Gregor Bajde connected with an Orsic cross 3 minutes later, it would have been 2-0. Simić had a couple of shots as Domžale released they'd hashed it, but despite forcing a corner from one of them, the game was Celje's.

Verbič stretches - and scores!

The 1. SNL season concludes at the end of May, by which time Maribor will hope to have recovered from their European excursions enough to tempt the title north-east. Very north-east, past Celje, Slovenia's third city, and back to its second city. Current 4th placed side Olimpija are representing the capital, Ljubljana. Their stadium can host 16,693, which some Maribor citizens might claim to be indicative of an more general disparity in resources and attention, by which the capital is favoured more than it should be. Olimpija formed in 2005, from the ashes of the previous Olimpija, and they and Maribor contest the Eternal Derby (Večni derbi) each year. Unless, like some Maribor fans, you don't recognise the legitimacy of the reformed Olimpija as a rival, in which case, they haven't since 2005. Or maybe even 2004, seeing as they only completed that season due to special permission being granted by the Slovenian FA. There is additional bitterness in this vein, stemming from the national team's adoption of the green-and-white of Olimpija for its kits throughout the 00s, but Nike have kindly attempted to resolve the issue, by relegating green to the 'trim' colour in recent kits. There is similar resentment regarding the idea that the national team ought to be nicknamed the Dragons, though really, the notion that any football team should have an 'official nickname' is a bit silly.


Tottenham Hotspur 0 - 0 Crystal Palace

Marouane Chamakh played in front of the trio known as McJedley for Palace, whilst Kane and Soldado began in front of Mason and Bentaleb for Spurs. Mason, Fazio (I had never heard of him prior to today), Davies, Dier, Bentaleb and Kane are all players that have come into the Spurs line up recently, doing enough to start whilst more seasoned campaigners such as Kaboul, Lennon, Paulinho and Chadli were sat on the bench.

Supposedly, Bentaleb and Mason starting in between Eriksen (on the left) and Lamela would bring pace and intensity to Spurs' game. In actuality, Eriksen and Bolasie were the most sought-out players in the early stages.

Eriksen's nutmeg

Ledley's wayward volley

Lamela conceded a free kick in a great position after a quarter of an hour, offering Mile Jedinak the opportunity to cement his status as a goalscoring midfielder.

Jedinak's shot into the wall

Ryan Mason almost headed a Bolasie corner into his own net a couple of minutes later. Bolasie had taken two good corners, following on from two decent efforts by Ledley. Palace's fifth looked to be wasted, as a short corner from Bolasie to Zaha was quickly closed down. It turned into the best opportunity of the half thus far, as Bolasie rolled the ball from one foot onto the other, then flicking it from that foot past the two Spurs defenders surrounding him, and then finding Ledley, who shot just over.

Who needs Vines?

Spurs wanted to build from the back, and attack through possession football. This suited Palace perfectly, as it allowed them to keep plenty of men behind the ball at all times. Though, as I've been thinking recently, football is usually a game of 4-6 halves, and in the 20-30 minute period, Palace faded.

Eriksen drew a free kick from Martin Kelly in the 32nd minute, curling it into the near post, though Speroni moved across to punch the shot wide. From the corner, Soldado wasted another opportunity, heading way over the bar.

One of three Roberto Soldado misses

Another, recently mentioned in the text

The half was drawing to a close, and Spurs were finally beginning to play a faster game. A Bentaleb flick over the top was nodded down by Eric Dier; Soldado chested it down, and struck a shot along the ground, into the arms of Julian Speroni. On target, at least.

Seeing as Eriksen had nutmegged Kelly, and Bolasie had flicked the ball past two men in a lovely piece of skill, it was time for Wilfried Zaha to pull something out of his trick bag. As half time approached, he did just that, kicking the ball with his left foot against his right, propelling it into the gap between Mason and Dier, and allowing him to run onto the ball. Unfortunately for Palace, his shot landed just wide of Lloris' left hand post.

Palace were threatening a third half, Dann's header producing a great save from Lloris before the break

The teams withdrew into the quiet bosom of White Hart Lane, having played out a tense 0-0 that couldn't be pegged as boring, but equally never quite managed to be exciting.

Nacer Chadli came on at half time to try and rouse the home side, replacing Lamela, who, like Zaha, has been well and truly burdened by his hefty transfer fee and the expectations that met him at his new club.

Bolasie and Zaha tried another short-corner routine, which, after about 12 minutes, created the first decent chance of the half. This time, Zaha's trickery and cross-shot produced a clawed save from Lloris. Spurs fans were getting frustrated. It started to look like the winner here would be the team that could produce one decent counter-attack, as Palace were sitting back in numbers, and not really venturing forwards, except via Zaha and Bolasie.

Christian Eriksen put Soldado in again after almost 20 minutes of nothingness, and Soldado duly blasted his shot high and wide.

Meh

Puncheon and Paulinho came on after that chance, for Zaha and Mason. Zaha had had, by his recent standards, a promising game. Immediately after the switch the Spurs fans could be heard singing for the introduction of Aaron Lennon. It was amazing just how many talented wide players there were in the two matchday squads. And the majority of those were players who have failed to reach the heights expected of them.

Puncheon had a point to prove, having skied a penalty in this fixture last season, and then fallen out with current Palace boss Neil Warnock over the aftermath - especially seeing as he has been on the bench in recent weeks

Dier had a poor game, needlessly conceding a corner with a misplaced pass, that almost led to Puncheon scoring.

Almost #1

Almosts #2 & #3

Palace having decided not to win the game, Spurs, now featuring Aaron Lennon, decided to attack. After Bolasie had struck a shot within reach of Lloris, and Ledley had wasted a chance he also should have buried in the corner of the Spurs net, it was time for Paulinho to have a go.

Saved by the neck of Joel Ward

Lloris saved again from Puncheon, similar in its simplicity to his previous saves, but this effort ranks below most of Palace's others in the should-have-been-a-goal table. The game crept towards extra time. Campbell and Gayle remained on Palace's bench. Spurs were trying long balls, with little success. Yannick Bolasie chased it over the line.

The boos rang out at the end of the game. Palace had a clean sheet, and their wingers and defenders had had a good game. I will not be watching Spurs again in a hurry.


Szombathelyi Haladás 3 - 1 Kecskeméti TE

Spurs could learn a lot about stabbing the ball towards the net from Hungarian NB I side Szombathelyi. They scored two goals before sitting back and relaxing against Kecskemét's finest, who were determined to out-do the Slovenian teams I'd watched earlier, by coming from the eight-largest city in Hungary. Szombathelyi were doing their bit too in this veritable battle of Eastern European obscurity, by providing an even muddier pitch than Domžale's.

Kerry Katona was not enjoying the mud

The Rohonci úti Stadion in Szombathely holds 9,500, with this being my current favourite stand in Europe

The half-time score could have been 0-0, but for some poor errors from Kecskeméti. Of course, it could have been anything other than what it ended up being, which was 2-0 to Szombathelyi, but 0-0 would have been a significantly better reflection of the balance of play than, say, 14-8.

Kecskeméti error #1: giving away this penalty

Bence Iszlai scores an easy penalty at 8'

The second goal was even worse. Haladás (Hungarian for progress, which is the second Hungarian term I know, after Agoskodo Teliverek (galloping stallions)) didn't even need to score it.

Wrong goal, Róbert Varga

The side probably not nicknamed the Orangemen ended the half in the ascendancy, making further errors to allow the home side to progress to their own half-time oranges with a two goal advantage.

Zsolt Balázs tumbles

One of Kecskeméti's anti-heroes misses the resultant penalty

Balázs dances in the mud, then shoots wide, but at least he is wearing a nice shirt

Another view of the end the home side were attacking

Although Hull City and Plymouth Argyle fans will recall Péter Halmosi, perhaps the most intriguing player on display was his Szombathelyi colleague András Radó. Radó was one of the players In Bed with Maradona decided to keep tabs on in 2014, and their year-end assessment is a D grade. D for noseDive. His form has dipped, and interest from other European clubs has waned, after he ended up staying in Szombathely, the home town of Leopold Bloom's father, Rudolf Virág.

These flats come with a free season ticket, including a much better view of Szombathelyi's third than I had

Tracksuited maverick Gábor Király, once of Crystal Palace and now at Fulham, is from Szombathely. He made 96 appearances for his hometown club, as well as nearly 200 for both Hertha Berlin (before Palace) and 1860 Munich (before Fulham). The Fulham move has only yielded 3 appearances thus far, but it is nonetheless an improvement on the very beginning of his season, when he was suspended from the Bavarian team for assaulting a teammate.

He may well be celebrating Szilárd Devecseri putting the icing on the progressive cake, the number 69-wearing defender atoning for the penalty he conceded at the end of the first half by making it 3-0 to Hungary's most western club side. Three goals, three points, and most importantly, they move off the foot of the table. Who needs misfiring prodigies when you have mud and mavericks, eh?

I have literally no idea who this is, but he was floored as Csanád Novák rose to score a 91st minute consolation goal with his head for 10th placed KTE

AS Saint-Étienne 1 - 0 SC Bastia

ASSE have drawn their last three league games, and at the start of play they are 8 points and 3 places behind PSG, although PSG have played a game more than everyone else at the top. Saint Etienne's fight is not really with PSG this season. Neither is Bastia's. They begin Saturday bottom, though a point here would temporarily lift them above struggling Lens and Europa League-occupied Guingamp.

Enough about the situation in Ligue 1 - what really excited me about this match up was the battle between two of last season's biggest Premier League flops: Norwich City's Ricky van Wolfswinkel, and 'Crystal Palace's' Florian Marange.

Benjamin Corgnet sends a glancing header wide for the hosts

A rare sight: Florian Marange playing football

Bastia had a couple of good counter-attacks after 20 minutes

Junior Tallo, on loan from Roma, should have given the visitors the lead

The struggling Corsican side, nurturers of such talents as Alex Song and Michael Essien in the past, was now the employer Djibril Cisse, Sebastien Squillaci, and Marange, a man treated poorly in South London. Ian Holloway signed him on the basis of video footage, considering him a replacement for Dean Moxey and Jonathan Parr in the Selhurst Park left-back berth. Instead, Marange never even got a squad number, after Holloway decided he wasn't quick enough in training. His contract was terminated early.

Although Song and Essien are now distant memories, another defensive midfield powerhouse, Claude Makelele, is their current coach. He will be irritated by Bastia's poor showing in front of goal in the first half. François Kamano should have scored after being given a similar opportunity to that afforded to Tallo, above, on half an hour.

It resulted only in an almost-goal line clearance

Two minutes later, and an Alphonse Areola punch found Corgnet, who should have scored too, but instead dragged his shot across the face of goal, in an attempt to evade the wall of Bastian defenders.

This game was going at quite a pace.

Norwich loanee van Wolfswinkel stood on the ball in a promising position

One notable link between these two sides is Brandão. The Brazilian striker moved from Les Verts to Les Bleus in the summer, and has made two appearances since. In his second, he headbutted PSG's Thiago Motta, and broke his nose. His six-month ban from football was topped up on 27 November with a one-month jail sentence. So he wasn't playing tonight.

Wolf in sheep's clothing

Norwich got relegated after signing this man last year, and using him to lead not only this awful advertising campaign, but also, their appalling attack

And as with the curse placed upon St Pauli's John Verhoek the day before, things soon got better for Ricky.

Clipped over Areola in the 58th minute

The pace of the second half was slower, but there was a much higher goals-per-minute ratio. Ryad Boudebouz came very close to equalising for Bastia in the 65th.

Boudebouz is the one lying closest to the right post, having just lunged to head a ball against it

Penalty? It could have been

Bastia threw men forward at corners, and their midfielders sprinted after every ball forward from the back, as they grew frustrated at their own lack of luck.

With Bastia growing desperate, Saint Etienne found more time and space to exploit in the Corsican defence. An excellent take-down by van Wolfswinkel from a high ball enabled Mollo to shoot... straight at Areola. Mollo turned provider a moment later, turning back from the by-line to set up former Leeds winger Max Gradel for an equally galling miss.

Mollo: should have done better

ASSE: European football, relegated Premier League players

Bastia spent the final 10 minutes throwing themselves, and the ball, towards the goal

Stade Geoffroy-Guichard

Some sick people claim to enjoy this